communication through any means possible

THANK YOU! To all, everyone, everywhere who has supported me through this....

curious what I am up to? What life is like here? I shall quickly try to let you in through your computer screen, give you a little snippet of my world.

I usually wake up around 4:30am-5 

untangle myself from my mosquito net and say thanks be to God for life!! Drape something over my sticky body and walk out into the rising sun and shaking heat

next comes one of my most favorite parts of my day:

 the bucket shower.      So imagine a four concrete walls that stand only as tall as my shoulders... that is where i enter, undress and than look up at the rising sun and cool myself with gathered from our rain barrel.

If it did not rain the recently, Mary and I walk down the road and cross a highway,  to the local tap and fill up buckets and carry them back to the home on our heads. I suck at this. Locals laugh at me, because Mary who is about 2/3rds of my size, can carry a huge bucket, while I struggle, spilling all over myself to balance a medium sized pail.... she gracefully walks tall across the highway, and I try not to get hit by the rapidly encroaching buses and just keep this bucket from tipping over and blinding me. Basically it is a war against me, that bucket and becoming roadkill.

It's all good :)

So now nice and clean after  showering next to the birds and the trees, I dress and eat breakfast of plain white bread, which tastes better every day! My host family is very generous with me, and love to serve me gigantic portions. Despite their attempts to fatten me up, I have lost weight. Not too much, but I can feel it. Every once and a while I come into the capital city, hit up a grocery store (where lettuce costs about 10 Canadian dollars) and buy some chocolate for me and the kids at home. I keep some stored up and have it as my little indulgence!

Each morning I great the local Granny with an "I-e Ko!" and she says "I-aaayy!" and laughs as my precious attempts of making small talk in the local dialect. My memory fails me most of the time and I stand there trying to form sentences. Her warm smile and big laughs indicate to me that she appreciates my efforts :)

It is my goal to by the end of my stay to be able to have a real conversation with that lovely lady... and all the cool women here that I can never get past introductions with, because of the language barrier.

Some of the children around my home do not go to school, and have no english. One adorable girl named "Writa" has always been very shy around me, and would never respond to my "I-e Ko" greeting attempts. The other day we (me and my posy of six year olds) were playing hand clapping games, matched with songs. Than I decided to take it a step further and introduce some dance moves into the flux of snaps, slaps and song. The wee ones responded instantly and began to shake it with ease I envy! They began to sing songs they all knew. Next a few of them grabbed some sticks and began creating intricate rhythmns on everything and anything.... a few older kids came along and joined in the complex patterns of beat that were ever taking new turns...

and shy Writa started to dance, hard core, throwing everyone of her tiny muscles into it.... she had this huge smile on her face and confidence, and looked at me as if saying- come on girl, this is my territory! Writa who would never look me in the eye, never the less say hello to me, than grabbed my hand and slammed her hip against mine! She squeezed my hand tight and looked at me, telling me with her eyes to GET INTO IT! Loose it Woman and show me what yuo can do! 

So I did, or I tried too. I tossed my hair, partied between the beats with little Writa showing me what it means to be present, give it! and not give a shit what anyone else is thinking.

here i am

 Good day reader, whoever you are wherever you are whatever you be I hope you are joyful in spirit.

I am well. Thank God! It has been quite a while since I last updated this... and has been an interesting and intense journey to this point. I was intending to go to Bosnia-Herzegovina, but am currently writing this in an air conditioned mall in Accra, Ghana. Long story short God has a very spontaneous and alarmingly vibrant sense of humour. Most of the time I try to join in on the laugh and go along with it. 

I have been here for fifteen days. Staying in a small rural village half an hour by wild taxi to the atlantic ocean. Every night I go to bed around 8:30pm and wake up around 5:30am. My sleeping habits alone attest to how different my life is lived on the grounds here, than home in Ontario.The sunrise and sunsets here are really subtle, they happen gradually with no intense colours, just pale black fading slowly to a very pale pink. Most nights I sleep well in the unimaginable heat but somenights, like last night, I can't sleep. I lay awake singing songs from the choir school I went to when I was little or in reflection about the days events.  I have been finding a lot of sweetness from singing lately, realizing more deeply how important song is to me. I like this:

"When you sing, you don't wonder whether or not singing is useful; you sing. That's how you are to pray." Hermann Hesse, Narcicuss and Goldmund.

When without my largest comforts: my family, Nick, friends, religious communities, farmiliar food, MacGuiness (loving canine companion) I rely a lot on song and my secret stash of chocolate in my room! Hahaha, I have been getting more into the rhythmn of life in this beautiful country, through connecting more with people through menial tasks. For example: holding a table steady as Mary, my host sister chops greens, or fanning the small fire as she stirs a pot of Bancou. Sometimes Mary calls me Madame Leigh, so I call her Madame Patience, her patience with me is incredible...

My host family is very generous and kind with me. I am learning some of the local language with jest and effort to wrap my mouth around the incredible sounds my host sisters are able to make. They laugh as I try to pronounce a word that is spelt "kpa" but to my white ear sounds like "bpang". Mary gets a riot out of it but is ceaselessly patient with me.

Been praying for increased gratitude the past six months or so, and cannot explain how thankful I have been feeling, been contemplating beauty/ugliness a lot too,

30 seconds left in the internet cafe, all for now. I am happy, healthy, and thoughtful... my love is with you all, thank you for everything.... Leigh

Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
- from Idris' Bible

 

"than a wo/man... can dip into the lowest depths of the bloody, drunken chaos of life, and soil himself with much dust and blood, without becoming small and common, without killing the divine spark within himself, that he can err through the thickest darkness without extinguishing the divine light and creative force inside the shrine of his soil." Hermann Hesse, Narcissus and Goldmund

just some feelings :)

doing things beautifully

ihsan  احسان it is called in Islamic theology. It is the action of living ones faith, harmonizing the heart with the ones deeds. It is the struggle to do all things in sincere beauty. 

I wonder what that means to you :)

This photo above from my last epic journey. It was to Nicaragua, in January of 2009, was truly a place of epic splendor. As my trip to Bosnia comes closer, I get all antsy and nervous down in my belly.  I pray I can embark upon my impending journey in a gentle and beautiful way, I don't know even know what that means! When I imagine myself leaving, I am not sure how pretty it will be when i'm balling and crying hysterically at the airport saying goodbye to my loved ones. 

I have been attending Taize services lately at Trinity College Anglican Chapel in Toronto, the silence of the stone church high walls, and the gentle warmth of the candles flickering with ease let me release my anxiety over exams and impending departures....

The sweet songs remind me to struggle to live a life in gratitude, charity and ultimately love.

Ubi Caritas et Amor,

Ubia Caritas, 

Deus ibi est.

Where there is Charity and Love,

God is truly present. 

All beauty, all love is ultimately God's, flowing, spinning through, into...

please let it flourish in me and in you.

poison and nectar

dear reader, I hope you are well!


The heart shaped land that my feet will stand on in t-minus two months, has, like every land... suffered some serious trials. 
I have to do a research paper on Bosnia-Herzegovina for my Intercordia class, and have chosen the heavy topic of the systematic rape of Bosnian Women during the genocide of the early 90's. I was living on a farm, chasing my older siblings and geese and learning my first words, when all this terror was going on across the ocean. Again, I am well fed and generally joyful while so much unspoken or unseen trials go on around me. 

God bless all those Sisters!!! Holy work indeed. <3
In my research I am exploring the notion that the brutal raping of the Women of Bosnia was in some ways a result of Serbian Folklore, that often glorifies Serbian men as superior beings than their neighbors....

what a dangerous thing it is when we try to exalt ourselves as gods above each other...

pride, selfish vanity, please get away from me.

When I am reading and writing on these horrific events of human memory, I often turn to Mother Teresa's writings to help lighten my heart. I love her piercing, sincere simplicity.

"Smile five times a day at someone you don't really want to smile at at all. Do it for peace."


"I still think that the greatest suffering is being lonely, feeling unloved, just having no one. I have come more and more to realize that being unwanted is the worst disease that any human can ever experience."


"God loves the world through you and through me."


"Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin."

Please give hope in our hearts,

make our smiles infectious,

let our arms be open,

and our embraces ever warm.

Let me see my pride,

Confront me with my selfishness

help me uproot them.

Plant in me seeds of gentleness

generosity

sincerity

honest love.

Please

:)

Thank you so much, all my friends, family and unknown beauties for your support, prayers and generosity. My thanks is with you! You rock. 
Also wanted to express my gratitude for all the outlandishly amazing young Women I am walking the Intercordia journey with! Seriously, you women amaze me. Mad love and respect !!

grace in disgrace

"They say there is a window from one heart to another...
how can there be a window, when no wall remains?"
-Hazrat  Rumi


Today I had a seminar with intercordia. At the session through storytelling we looked at ourselves, with all our faults, but tried to see them as gifts and things to learn from. I had the challenge of telling my 'life story' to my new friends. Reflecting upon my young yet wild life, I can feel overwhelmed by the amount of difficult experiences that are stacked in my personal closet. But I Alhamdulilah! Halelujah! Thanks be to the Good One! I have been able to turn some of the poison in my life to nectar. This dance of transformative perspective, and recognizing the graces in the gifts of my brokenness, is an ever evolving one. Like an Intercordian staff recalled from a Leonard Cohen song, its through the cracks that the light shines in.
Just been thinking about these things...... here is another hit from Rumi on the matter...


"Don't try to put out fire by throwing on more fire!
Don't wash a wound with blood.
No matter how fast you run, your shadow keeps up.
Sometimes it's in front!
Only full overhead sun diminishes it.
But that shadow has been serving you.
What hurts you, blessed you.
Darkness is your candle.
Your boundaries are your quest.
I could explain this, but it will break the glass cover on your heart, and there is no fixing that!
You must have shadow and light source both. 
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.
When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you, be quieter than a dove.
Don't even open your mouth for even a coo."


-Hazrat Rumi


In this process, I have been so humbled by the immense outpouring of support of me as I fundraise for my placement in Bosnia. I can never thank you enough. All the kind hearts that have generously shared their support with my efforts with Intercordia. Truly, sincerely, humbly.... THANK YOU!!!
Love and respect!
http://www.canadahelps.org/GivingPages/GivingPage.aspx?gpID=10130

In the cracks, the leaking spots of my wee heart,

there is quiet. 

In the loud, voice of assumption,

there is courage.

I am tiered, I am weary. Today was a long day.

But I am full, I am healthy

I am not a work in progress.

I am not a task to be perfected, completed. 

I am here, 

I pray that one day I may arrive.

I pray you are joyful and you may find comfort in the midst of all the tough, rough, and difficult things out there and in here. Love to you and your relations, Leigh

"be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle"
- Plato

takes a community...

Thank You

Thank you sincerely and kindly to everyone who has supported me in my fundraising! With your help we have fundraised 1000 dollars! It is only through your generosity that this opportunity is possible for me, I cannot thank you enough for your support. I hope that there is warmth of heart for you this winter and that you and all your relations are thriving and joyful. 

Happy Holidays!

to continue to support Interfaith work in Bosnia-Herzegovina through Intercordia please visit http://www.canadahelps.org/GivingPages/GivingPage.aspx?gpID=10130

Generous Creator,

Thank You for Your tender, ever present support.

You give ceaselessly form Your ever flowing wellspring of kindness,

Please live in us and help us to give and live a life of compassionate mercy.

BOSNIA-HERZEGOVINA !!

As God Wills, Intercordia has kindly chosen Bosnia-Herzegovina as the placement for me this summer.
I am ecstatic, nervous, excited and humbly astounded by this opportunity. Thank you thank you thank you to all who are making this possible.
As my thirst and yearning to grow closer to my Creator and find a vocation, I feel a tremendous mix of emotions, facing this experience. I now am beginning to try to build a solid ground under me... so that when I leave my friends, loves ones and communities behind, and enter a new culture, language, cuisine, climate and community... I do not go mad, entirely.


I have been thirsting for an opportunity to learn more about how best I am able to serve others... I pray this experience helps me...
This is from the message I have sent out to some friends and family...

Though it has been fifteen years since the devastating war, many communities in Bosnia-Herzegovina live as though there is an invisible line running through their villages. On one side, live the Christians and on the other side the Muslims.

Several centers have been established in the heart of these villages, to facilitate community programs where Muslim and Christian Youth can come together to learn, grow, share and heal through art and other means of self expression. The Intercordia program is not sending people like myself into these situations to bring our western ideals and romantic dreams of reforming communities. 

Instead, Intercordia challenges us to just go beyond our selves and witness the diversity of human experience. To learn to serve, and serve to learn.I am trying to fundraise money for the experience and to bring over art and theatre supplies, jump ropes and soccer balls for the Youth of Bosnia-Herzegovina.


Want to Help? If you could kindly support me in doing this, please visit my online page where donations are accepted. http://www.canadahelps.org/GivingPages/GivingPage.aspx?gpID=10130

I also ask if you could please add all victims of genocide, religious persecution and ignorance, the Youth of Bosnia-Herzegovina and myself and fellow students at Intercordia, to your prayers.

As I will close each message with a prayer, here is my favorite hymn about God calling us to follow Her and serve creation in any way we possibly can :)

Love love love

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?

Will you go where you don't know and never be the same?

Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,

will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?

Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?

Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?

Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?

Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?

 Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?

Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?

Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,

and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?

 Will you love the "you" you hide if I but call your name?

Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?

Will you use the faith you've found to reshape the world around,

through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.

Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.

In Your company I'll go where Your love and footsteps show.

Thus I'll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

Text: John L. Bell b.1949; Graham Maule.

© 1987, Wild Goose Resource Group, Iona Community, GIA Publications, Inc.

Tune: Scottish traditional, Kelvingrove. Arranged by John L. Bell.